Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
