YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
