i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
