Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
