My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
