I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
