I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
