She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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