She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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