I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
