so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
