Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
