So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize