I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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