thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Is it because I queefed?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I lost the right to judge tonight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
