Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
