i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize