hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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