She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
