last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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