i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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