we made out on top of his cat.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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