Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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