69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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