hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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