Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
