Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was born a porn star she said
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
