you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
