Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
