Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
