Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
