If i come over, it means nothing
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
