pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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