As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
