U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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