i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
