I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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