Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
