This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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