Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
