Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
