...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
