I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
