I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
