It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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