We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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