Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
