On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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