Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
