I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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