In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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