i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
