iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
