this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
