The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
