its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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