My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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