Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize