he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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