i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
